How to have a Long Distance Relationship Success Story
What do you think of when you think of a long distance relationship? Chances are, the thoughts that come to mind aren’t overwhelmingly positive. Long distance relationships often get a bad rep. There seems to be a stigma that long distance relationships ‘never last’ and most swear that they’d never be in one – myself included! I was full of nerves when my boyfriend hopped on the plane to go half way around the world. Between the time difference and physical separation, the first few weeks had me plagued with worry and fear. Now that we are back together after over a year and a half of being apart, I’m here to tell you that the distance won’t ruin your relationship! In fact, they can be FUN, EXCITING, and make your relationship even STRONGER than before. Distance can be tough, but let’s fill the moments apart with love and opportunities to strengthen the bond between both of you. Ok, enough of the intro. Let’s jump right in to the blueprint for making your long distance relationship a success story!
1. Communication + Expectations
Communication is alway important in a relationship, but in long distance relationship, communication is absolutely crucial! Before they leave or in the first few days you’re apart, have a conversation about how often you want to communicate AND how you want to communicate. One person may only need to talk once every few days and the other person may need to talk every day. This is extremely important to set expectations early to avoid one person from feeling hurt, alone or isolated. Factor in your schedules and time zone changes and come up with times where you can connect.
FaceTime/videos calls are the best because it allows you to see and hear the other person, just as if you were right next to each other. I liked to video call when we were both curled up in our beds in comfy clothes, just like we are when we are together.
Text reminders that you are thinking of them. A good morning text or a ‘just thinking of you’ message can be such a bright spot in your day.
Giving and receiving a handwritten love letter is such a heart warming surprise! Love letters are truly timeless ways to show love. Whether it be during a holiday or ‘just because’, notes from loved ones are always so special. I went and bought cute stationary and have so much fun writing my boyfriend. I always spray it with my perfume, stamped it with a kiss and added Polaroids for a cute personal touch.
Don’t forget about emails! When my boyfriend and I couldn’t use our phones for extended periods of time over deployment, we used emails exclusively. Instead of talking about our days, we’d write out big events or thoughts. Sometimes we’d even send quizzes in excel files (nerdy but so cute). My favorite part of the day used to be logging on to a computer and seeing an email from him.
Calling each other is easiest and the best way for when you’re on the go. I love a good phone call because it let’s you focus on their voice.
2. Foster a Deeper Connection
It’s time to really get to know each other! Even in long distance relationships, date nights can still be happening frequently. What’s great about long distance relationships is that the emotional connection between you two can really blossom and grow now that other factors (mostly physical) are not competing for attention. Below are some date ideas to help strengthen your relationship and to spark deep, meaningful conversations.
Figure out each other’s love languages! Take the quiz and talk about ways you can foster to each of your individual needs to feel loved.
Each of you read the same book and talk about it. It’s like starting your own mini book club between the two of you.
Talk about your days. DON’T CUT EACHOTHER OUT OF YOUR LIVES! When you are together, you don’t leave out the small details throughout the days like you tried a new coffee drink that day or you were upset that the annoying co-worker heated up fish in the office for the third day in a row! Same thing applies in a long distance relationship, keep them intimately intertwined with your life.
Brainstorm goals together and make action plans. Hold each other accountable.
Make dinner together. Go out and buy the same ingredients and follow along each step of the recipe together.
Start a TV series you both have wanted to watch. Stream it through a website that allows you to share the same screen.
Go for a walk together. Both get the benefit of being outside and talk with your loved one.
Pull up ‘questions to ask your loved one” on Pinterest or Google and run though some questions to get to know eachother better. Get initimately familiar with each others past, fears, dreams and aspirations.
Plan out your next meet up. Pick the date, the locations, where you’ll stay, the things you’ll do, etc. Planning a trip builds excitement and it gives you both something to look forward to.
Talk about when the end of the Long Distance part of your relationship will be. Figure out where you’ll live, if you’ll get a pet together, etc. Make a plan and actionable steps if needed.
3. Focus on Yourself
Being apart is not ideal, but remind yourself that it’s not permanent! In the meantime, you have the benefit of being in a relationship with the added perk of having the time and space to take time to build up yourself! Take full advantage of the opportunity so when you do eventually close the distance, you’ll be rocking new skills, a healthy mindset and radiate confidence in your new growth!
Experiment with new styles and new makeup techniques. Figure out what season you are and implement those changes to see the power of color!
Master a select array of recipes
Cement some habits you’ve always wanted to have in a morning/evening routine
Educate yourself in finance, social media marketing, photography or whatever skill/knowledge you’ve always wanted to posses.
Build on your other relationships. Grab coffee with a coworker or start scheduling regular meetups with your other friends.
Other Tips to Help Keep You Going
I know I’ve already stated it earlier but remember that this will work! Have faith in your relationship. Long distance aren’t a new concept. Distance have been a thing for centuries and so many couples have overcome and conquered it! True love knows no bounds and being apart really makes you stronger. Below are some more tips to help keep you going.
If you know the date when you go from ‘LDR’ to ‘no longer LDR!’ or even just when your next trip to see them is, make a countdown! I downloaded an app and had the widget on my home screen so I could remind myself everyday how much closer we were to being back together.
Wear his sweatshirt, have the teddy bear he got you on your bed, make cute photo boards, have things around that remind you of them!
Use the power of manifest scripting. If you are new to the concept, the idea is to write down your ideal life (this case, when you are back together) with as much detail as you can cram in. Write about what life will be like when you are back together again. It helps make your dreams a reality.
If you have any issues, concerns or worries, bring them up as soon as reasonably possible. A quick reminder like, “I love you, we are going to be ok,” when thoughts start spiraling can save you hours of unnecessary pain and worry.
Journal all your feelings, desires, wishes and hopes. It doesn’t have to be everyday. It can be when you’re feeling some sort of strong emotions or just need to organize your thoughts.
Don’t be a sad girl! When I first started being in a LDR, I focused so much on the negative and wasted so much time and energy in being sad. I don’t want you to fall into that same trap. Use your friends, make some awesome goals, have a glow up, wear his sweatshirt and send him love when you think of him. Keep your life going in an upward momentum.
Final Thoughts
The biggest takeaway I want you to have if you are in on or about to embark in a long distance relationship is to remember that this distance is just one step you both must take before you ‘ get a lifetime together. Most of all, I want hope and assurance to resonate. All relationships comes with challenges and together you can conquer distance. Do you have any tips and tricks for long distance relationship? Are you also into poetry? Leave a comment and please check out my instagram page for more poetic content! I’d love to hear from you!