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How to have a Long Distance Relationship Success Story

February 4, 2024

What do you think of when you think of a long distance relationship? Chances are, the thoughts that come to mind aren’t overwhelmingly positive. Long distance relationships often get a bad rep. There seems to be a stigma that long distance relationships ‘never last’ and most swear that they’d never be in one – myself included! I was full of nerves when my boyfriend hopped on the plane to go half way around the world. Between the time difference and physical separation, the first few weeks had me plagued with worry and fear. Now that we are back together after over a year and a half of being apart, I’m here to tell you that the distance won’t ruin your relationship! In fact, they can be FUN, EXCITING, and make your relationship even STRONGER than before. Distance can be tough, but let’s fill the moments apart with love and opportunities to strengthen the bond between both of you. Ok, enough of the intro. Let’s jump right in to the blueprint for making your long distance relationship a success story!

1. Communication + Expectations

Communication is alway important in a relationship, but in long distance relationship, communication is absolutely crucial! Before they leave or in the first few days you’re apart, have a conversation about how often you want to communicate AND how you want to communicate. One person may only need to talk once every few days and the other person may need to talk every day. This is extremely important to set expectations early to avoid one person from feeling hurt, alone or isolated. Factor in your schedules and time zone changes and come up with times where you can connect.

FaceTime/videos calls are the best because it allows you to see and hear the other person, just as if you were right next to each other. I liked to video call when we were both curled up in our beds in comfy clothes, just like we are when we are together.
Text reminders that you are thinking of them. A good morning text or a ‘just thinking of you’ message can be such a bright spot in your day.
Giving and receiving a handwritten love letter is such a heart warming surprise! Love letters are truly timeless ways to show love. Whether it be during a holiday or ‘just because’, notes from loved ones are always so special. I went and bought cute stationary and have so much fun writing my boyfriend. I always spray it with my perfume, stamped it with a kiss and added Polaroids for a cute personal touch.
Don’t forget about emails! When my boyfriend and I couldn’t use our phones for extended periods of time over deployment, we used emails exclusively. Instead of talking about our days, we’d write out big events or thoughts. Sometimes we’d even send quizzes in excel files (nerdy but so cute). My favorite part of the day used to be logging on to a computer and seeing an email from him.
Calling each other is easiest and the best way for when you’re on the go. I love a good phone call because it let’s you focus on their voice.

2. Foster a Deeper Connection

It’s time to really get to know each other! Even in long distance relationships, date nights can still be happening frequently. What’s great about long distance relationships is that the emotional connection between you two can really blossom and grow now that other factors (mostly physical) are not competing for attention. Below are some date ideas to help strengthen your relationship and to spark deep, meaningful conversations.

Figure out each other’s love languages! Take the quiz and talk about ways you can foster to each of your individual needs to feel loved.
Each of you read the same book and talk about it. It’s like starting your own mini book club between the two of you.
Talk about your days. DON’T CUT EACHOTHER OUT OF YOUR LIVES! When you are together, you don’t leave out the small details throughout the days like you tried a new coffee drink that day or you were upset that the annoying co-worker heated up fish in the office for the third day in a row! Same thing applies in a long distance relationship, keep them intimately intertwined with your life.
Brainstorm goals together and make action plans. Hold each other accountable.
Make dinner together. Go out and buy the same ingredients and follow along each step of the recipe together.
Start a TV series you both have wanted to watch. Stream it through a website that allows you to share the same screen.
Go for a walk together. Both get the benefit of being outside and talk with your loved one.
Pull up ‘questions to ask your loved one” on Pinterest or Google and run though some questions to get to know eachother better. Get initimately familiar with each others past, fears, dreams and aspirations.
Plan out your next meet up. Pick the date, the locations, where you’ll stay, the things you’ll do, etc. Planning a trip builds excitement and it gives you both something to look forward to.
Talk about when the end of the Long Distance part of your relationship will be. Figure out where you’ll live, if you’ll get a pet together, etc. Make a plan and actionable steps if needed.

3. Focus on Yourself

Being apart is not ideal, but remind yourself that it’s not permanent! In the meantime, you have the benefit of being in a relationship with the added perk of having the time and space to take time to build up yourself! Take full advantage of the opportunity so when you do eventually close the distance, you’ll be rocking new skills, a healthy mindset and radiate confidence in your new growth!

Experiment with new styles and new makeup techniques. Figure out what season you are and implement those changes to see the power of color!
Master a select array of recipes
Cement some habits you’ve always wanted to have in a morning/evening routine
Educate yourself in finance, social media marketing, photography or whatever skill/knowledge you’ve always wanted to posses.
Build on your other relationships. Grab coffee with a coworker or start scheduling regular meetups with your other friends.

Other Tips to Help Keep You Going

I know I’ve already stated it earlier but remember that this will work! Have faith in your relationship. Long distance aren’t a new concept. Distance have been a thing for centuries and so many couples have overcome and conquered it! True love knows no bounds and being apart really makes you stronger. Below are some more tips to help keep you going.

If you know the date when you go from ‘LDR’ to ‘no longer LDR!’ or even just when your next trip to see them is, make a countdown! I downloaded an app and had the widget on my home screen so I could remind myself everyday how much closer we were to being back together.
Wear his sweatshirt, have the teddy bear he got you on your bed, make cute photo boards, have things around that remind you of them!
Use the power of manifest scripting. If you are new to the concept, the idea is to write down your ideal life (this case, when you are back together) with as much detail as you can cram in. Write about what life will be like when you are back together again. It helps make your dreams a reality.
If you have any issues, concerns or worries, bring them up as soon as reasonably possible. A quick reminder like, “I love you, we are going to be ok,” when thoughts start spiraling can save you hours of unnecessary pain and worry.
Journal all your feelings, desires, wishes and hopes. It doesn’t have to be everyday. It can be when you’re feeling some sort of strong emotions or just need to organize your thoughts.
Don’t be a sad girl! When I first started being in a LDR, I focused so much on the negative and wasted so much time and energy in being sad. I don’t want you to fall into that same trap. Use your friends, make some awesome goals, have a glow up, wear his sweatshirt and send him love when you think of him. Keep your life going in an upward momentum.

Final Thoughts

The biggest takeaway I want you to have if you are in on or about to embark in a long distance relationship is to remember that this distance is just one step you both must take before you ‘ get a lifetime together. Most of all, I want hope and assurance to resonate. All relationships comes with challenges and together you can conquer distance. Do you have any tips and tricks for long distance relationship? Are you also into poetry? Leave a comment and please check out my instagram page for more poetic content! I’d love to hear from you!

xoxo,

Poetic Peach

How to conquer the unknown

March 21, 2021

So many unknown roads. Which one to take?

What’s your biggest fear?

Mine has always been fear of the unknown. This has led to multiple personal draw backs.

I’m indecisive. I over plan. I get stressed over commitment. I am a nervous wreck when big changes happen. I’ll wait and pass by opportunities because I’m afraid to take the chance.

Sound familiar?

Start living your best life

Life is full of amazing and seemingly endless options. Yet just like when you’re presented with a menu with oodles of choices and combinations, it can feel overwhelming. This is especially true when you are about to make a life altering decision. It’s a frightening feeling when you have to make a choice when you don’t know the outcome, but it is even worse when you look back at life and realize you’ve let great opportunities slip by simply because you were scared.

Don’t let this be you. Don’t recede into your comfortable little circle of safety and let yourself watch your dreams slide away. You’ve come so far in life to not see the view from the top. You deserve to live the life of your dreams and YOU CAN start living that life today, tomorrow, forever. Start by taking those chances.

Actions to take to conquer the unknown

Talk to yourself like you are your own life coach

Ever call yourself stupid? Or an idiot? How about a loser? Been there, done that. Now don’t do that ever again. Be your own personal life coach. Pump yourself up before big speeches or before going into work. Talk to yourself like you would if you were your own personal life coach. Using speech where you talk in third person and second person can help you believe in what you are saying. Saying things like ‘YOU are a dazzling warrioress’ or ‘Oh my gosh (INSERT YOUR NAME HERE), YOU totally have this in the bag’, can make it easier to believe in what you are saying. Self affirmations (first person) are wonderful to use too, but if you struggle with self negativity, start out self positivity by using YOU and your name.

2. Start by taking leaps on small choices

Rome wasn’t built in a day, so don’t feel pressured to conquer your fear overnight. Start off by trying to not stress or over analyze small, less important every day life choices. Hot or iced coffee? Dark blue jeans or light wash? Try and make it a max, 5 second decision, then embrace the decision you made. Beginning with the decisions you that won’t have too much of an impact.

3. Remind yourself that (almost) nothing is permanent

Nowadays, even tattoos can be laser removed. When you work your way up to the bigger decisions, remind yourself that even if you make a choice that you regret, you always have the option to go back. Don’t jump anything head first. A little planning and research is necessary for large undertakings. Yet don’t be afraid that if you make a choice that you have to live with the decision forever. If things really go south, you can always make a U-turn to go back to the crossroads. The only thing you really can’t change is when you become a parent. Everything else though, you have the chance to press rewind.

What are your biggest tips for overcoming fear of the unknown? Let me know in the comments below. <3

If you’d like to submit a poem for me to publish on www.poeticpeach.com, drop me a line here:

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New Holiday traditions and goals to start before 2021

December 29, 2020

The perfect time to start new traditions and goals for 2021 is before the new year

Don’t wait ’till the 1st day of January! I believe that the days before a new year is the ideal time to start new traditions and goals. Now hear me out.

New Traditions

The week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve is a time where there is a lull in people’s lives. I challenge you to use this time to gear up for the start of the New Year or simply create something to look forward to every year in between the holiday festivities.

Below is a list of traditions to start between December 25th – January 1st:

Start a ‘good memory’ jar

This is something I have been doing for the past few years and I love it! Get a clean glass jar (I usually decorate the jar with ribbon), sticky notes and a pen. For the next year, write down every experience that made you happy/joyful/prideful/(insert positive emotion here). They can be something simple like a compliment you received that day or as big as presenting a stellar pitch at your work. I put the dates on them too for reference.

Fold up the sticky note and put it in the jar. At the end of the year, dump out all the sticky notes and read all the wonderful things that occurred!

Write down goals if you haven’t already!

Take some time and brainstorm some goals you’d like to achieve. If you don’t know where to start, list some characteristics of who you want to become. From there, back track to narrow down specific goals. If you’re still stuck, google ‘new year goals’ to research some ideas.

Read something to set your intentions for the new year

Depending on what direction you want to go with the new year, a good start is to envelope yourself with the energy and vibes of whatever you want to accomplish. Want to workout more? Read some blogs or stories of people that underwent the same journey. Do you want to practice more gratitude? Listen to the advice and ways to practice on Youtube or on a podcast. Start surrounding yourself with that energy now to really pump yourself up!

Write a letter to your past self explaining how much you’ve grown this past year

This is a great tool to look back at your year to see areas of strength and weakness. Use it to fine tune your goals and intentions for the new year.

Write a letter to your future self on all that you will accomplish this upcoming year

When writing this letter, use the present tense! This is basically the Law of Attraction scripting technique but looking over the span of an entire year. The benefits of doing this is attracting the life you want to live and convincing yourself that you are capable and will achieve your goal. Even if you don’t believe in what you are writing, still follow through and write it! Be as detailed as possible and don’t hold back. The power is in the action of seeing it in black and white on the page.

Draw or write a poem that encapsulates the past 365 days

A fun creative project that can be saved and added to a collection that can grow every year.

Drive somewhere or take a walk to reflect

My personal favorite, this is easy to do and helps refresh the mind.

Cook a staple meal or learn to recreate your favorite take out dish

If you have a favorite childhood dish, this could be the time to relive those early memories. Bust out that old recipe or look through Pinterest to find the secrets in creating that dish you always use Uber Eats for!

Mail handwritten/ hand drawn cards to friends and family

There is no better surprise after a day at work to come home to a mailbox with a letter. Spread some love and let the people you care about know that you’re thinking of them!

Watch your favorite movie while eating your favorite cookies with your favorite person

This can be modified to any type of favorite. Just make sure it involves at least three favorite things!

Year after you, you can change thes up or stay consistant. Changing it up is fun, but having a consistant plan alaso allows for fun anticipation on what you know is going to come.

New Goals

We brainstorm and plan new goals and ambitions a few weeks before New Year’s Day. While this is an important step, I don’t think it’s necessarily wise to wait until the 1st. If the goal is unrealistic or not feasible with your lifestyle, you eventually give up on the goal sometime during the first few weeks and immediately lose the desire to start new good habits. The momentum to start anew was with the build up of the New Year. Now that it has past, the desire to begin a new system is so much harder to reclaim. Then you become one of the millions that start a goal at the new year and never finish. This potentially leads to a whole year of missing out on bettering your life all because the goal you were chasing was poorly executed or unattainable.

I reccomend trying out a goal BEFORE January 1st. This enables you to test it out and see if you’re planning the actions approriately.

Example: if your goal is to read 1 book/month and you plan on reading 20 minutes before bed every night, start implementing it into your routine NOW! If before bed is unreasonable due to working late/inconsistent hours, at least you know this before you start trying to cement this into your routine during your New year New You phase. Now you can tweak the goal to read during your lunch break/with morning coffee/audio book on a commute or by changing your goal all together.

‘New You’ doesn’t have to wait for a date

There is a huge hype with the new year to transform yourself into a better version of yourself. The saying ‘new year, new you’ has a nice ring to it, and it is motivating having the whole world starting their own goal setting journey with you. HOWEVER, don’t let this be the only time that you allow yourself to start something new. I advocate for starting new traditions and goals before the new year, but if you want to start on May 3rd, go for it! There is no better time to start bettering yourself than the present. The second best time is tomorrow. Go out there and conquer your goals and ambitions, your future self will thank you, your past self is motivating you and present self is cheering you on.

Are you starting any new goals or traditions this year? Have any tips for beginning? Let me know, I’d love to hear from you.

How to find magic during the holidays

December 17, 2020

Holiday magic

The magic of the holidays still persists even in 2020. I’m still in disbelief that Christmas is less than a week away! It felt as if the year was dragging along at a crawl with no end in sight for so long, and now we are at the end. Even though the world is still not normal as we knew it 10 months ago, the wonder and awe of the season has still come back to greet us.

Bright, glowing energy

Around this time of year when the lights start to come up around the neighborhood and scents of cinnamon and sugar waft through the air, a warm and lighthearted energy seems to encompass the world. It seems not to be one thing in particular that causes this, but a culmination of different things that causes this sort of magic. For me, this energy is bright and glowing which I summarize as aglow.

Funny how the darkest days of winter are some of the best days of the year.

Things that make the world aglow

A world aglow and what that encompasses can mean different things to different people. What are some things that make your world aglow? Often times it are things that we are grateful for or enchant us. Make a list and let yourself appreciate the magic of the holidays after such a chaotic year. Below I have a list of things that may spark some inspiration for a poem of your own.

Crackling/hissing fire
Frozen fingers curled around a warm cup of hot cocoa
Nostalgic ornaments hanging on a tree
Snuggled up on the coach with fuzzy blankets watching Christmas movies
The smell of fresh cookies when you open the oven
Watching the snow fall on a cold winter night
Crunching through freshly fallen snow
The silence as the snow falls
Smells of pine, sugar, cinnamon and ginger

Is there anything you would add to the list? Anything stir your poetic mind? Let me know <3

Feel free to shoot me a message of your poems, I would love to read them! To read more poems from myself and others, check out the link below:

https://poeticpeach.com/category/poetry/

How heartbreak led to beautiful poetry

December 1, 2020

Heartbreak

The morning started with a facetime filled with giggles and texts with kissy faces. The night ended with puffy eyes and a tear soaked pillow. The sorrowful heartbreak led to some beautiful poetry.

The fall

Golden light shimmers upon you one moment, life’s darkest hour descends upon you the next. Stumbles and fumbles are anticipated, but no one is ever truly prepared for the fall from grace.

If life was an ocean, we spend most of our time bobbing around in semi calm sea states. There are the occasional crests and troughs amongst the waves, but nothing we are capable of handling. However, there are exceptions to this monotonous lull. One can awaken to find the water smooth as glass reflecting a beautiful blue sky or, in my case, a storm that constructs waves that dare to pound you into the bottom of Mariana’s trench.

Ok, I’ll stop with the illustration I’m butchering, but you get the point! In times of pure bliss or gut wrenching anguish, we can be at a loss of words due to be enveloped by an overwhelming surge of emotion. Luckily, as I learned, time turns these intense emotions are corrected to the steady state we are normally used to.

Capturing the feeling

There is something magical about capturing a feeling; it’s almost like encapsulating a bit of the human soul. It’s then no surprise that so many people choose to transfer their feelings into words, so that others may read them and feel the same emotion.

In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to truly formulate the experience into a string of words. It is sometimes only after the rush of such a powerful event that it can be possible to write the experience down. It can be moments after, or perhaps years after, but once the perfect jumble of letters form a string of words that when read make you hair on your arms stand up, you know that you captured that feeling,

It then becomes a choice to continue to relive the experience by re-reading the words, letting other experience it by sharing, or laying it to rest by destroying it. In any case, once it is written, it is empowering to know that you have control over your experience. You may not have been able to have controlled how or why you underwent the event, but afterwards you have the ability to direct where that feeling goes. You can let it live on or let it die. You are the keeper of your experiences.

My heart break poem

In my case, I went through a really rough breakup that left me feeling shattered (hence my heartbreak poem, Broken Pieces). After a few days when I was able to collect myself into a normal functioning adult again, I crafted this poem. As you may notice, it is very dark; a great representation of my mind during the midst of the heartache.

Having written it out and seeing it displayed in black and white on a page helped me let go of such weighing emotions that I was clinging to. It was as if I had set them free.

Write it out

I know, I know, I sound a little crazy, but if you’re dealing with something painful, I highly suggest taking up a pen and jotting the thoughts down. You don’t even need a pen, writing notes on the phone works too! When I first started, I made a list of bullet point with one word emotions. Eventually I was able to grow my list into phrases and then a poem!

Scribbling out words is like creating cracks in a dam. At first, small cracks start to form letting small streams of water out. Then at some point, the damn busts open, releasing all your pent up feelings come gushing out.

Ok, I’ll get off my soap box, but don’t knock it ’till you try it!

Same goes for positive emotions too. If you just had the most fantastically amazing day ever, write it down! Save it and cherish it. Your words leave your story behind.

Closing

Thank you all for those that read to this point. For those that are skimmers, here were the take away closing points:

Good and bad days equal out eventually
Write down the feelings you experienced through the extreme highs and lows

That’s all for now. One of the poems I wrote during my heart healing process is down below. Other poems can be found by clicking on this link: https://poeticpeach.com/category/poetry/

Let me know if you have any poems that you would like to share!

Dark Wolf – Fellow Poet Submission

November 17, 2020

This weeks featured poem is from a fellow poet, Feathertail. Once they sent me this poem, I just had to share! The contrast between different emotions evicts such a strong, twisted feeling when read through start to finish.

Let me know your thoughts on the poem in the comments below and be sure to check out more poems on the site. Link is down below: